Saturday, December 26, 2009

Fading




On the 16th of November, 2003, we got Tobler, our Golden Lab, as a birthday gift for my dad.

Tobler's favourite plaything in the house was Rusty's tail. Wherever Rusty's tail would go, Tobler would follow. He would be sitting on his chair thinking he's half human and his tail would be dangling as a treat for the newbie. Tobler would be lying on his back paws trying to grab at his tail and give it a bite. What surprised me was that Rusty never tried to bite Tobler’s head off and I wouldn't really blame him if he did.

But from around that time I started feeling that Rusty felt left out and played second fiddle to Tobler. He felt he was no longer the baby of the family.

After that came Tick fever.

Two months of suffering, pain and unintentional neglect. Weekly visits to the doctor for antibiotics, checkups and injections which became more and more frequent until it became a daily routine. By the second week of January, I was able to lift him, which was not meant to happen. Bones could be seen everywhere, hardly any fat on the body. Eyes became dull, started drooling/salivating non-stop. He had to be lifted out till the front gate of the house so he could take a step or two and unburden himself. Slowly, very slowly the days passed and came the 23rd of January. At night, my parents called my brother and me to their room. They had been discussing something...something serious, I could see it. Then my mom said simply, "We have to put him to sleep". We understood what that meant and also felt, deep inside, that it was the right thing to do. But still I argued and said that we should give the operation a chance. I knew how much Rusty was suffering and it was an extremely selfish thing to say...but I didn't want to lose my younger brother. However, I retreated to my room that night and it took me hours to fall asleep. I woke up at 5:30 the next day, Tuesday, 24th of January, 2003. It was a school day. As I walked out of my room, I saw Rusty lying flat on the ground, saliva all over his face and the floor around him. My mom was there next to him. She told me that it had to be done that day and asked if I would like to be there.

What a question…

Would I like to see Rusty, who was the closest thing I had to a younger brother, laid to rest right before my eyes. I thought about it for a minute maybe and decided that I didn’t want to be part of the end of his life.

I kept his head on my lap for about ten minutes and kissed him. Those were the last ten minutes I spent with him. After that I ran out of my house to catch my bus.

It was a lazy day in school. There were only about 20 kids out of the regular 50 in class.

It was the 6th period, Hindi. My friend, Dhruv, was sitting with me and he noticed how fucked up I looked. I told him why when he asked. I couldn’t take it any longer so I asked permission from the teacher to be excused for ‘loo’ issues. (I don’t know why)

Dhruv came with me and we ran to the phone booth near the canteen. I called my mom and said, “Mamma”. She was crying and the only words that came out through all the crying were “It’s been done”. I hung up.

The walk back to class was a slow one. Dhruv understood.

Standing on the balcony outside my class was the first time I cried infront of a friend, first time ever in school.

My best friend, my younger brother, my dog, my Rusty had died.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

My Younger Brother



About 5 years and 11 months ago, was the 24th of January, 2004, the day Rusty died.
I've thought about writing about this for a very long time, 5 years and 11 months to be near exact, but only recently I decided to do so after reading Pranidhi's sister's blog.
In the afternoon of a day in July, 1997, my parents called me and my brother into their room. On entering I saw them sitting on the bed...smiling. Weird. Then they pointed to a small opened cardboard box next to them on the floor. We went over to look and I saw the most confused and black little puppy I had ever laid eyes on. That made me confused and only after about 5 mins did my parents tell us that that black, confused puppy was ours - my younger brother.

That was my first moment with him after which followed 7 and a half wonderful years spent with him, as I practically grew up with him. Occasionally taking him out for a walk, forcing food down his throat (wasn't much of an eater) , hiding the Cosco ball behind plants and pretending to have lost it which would then take him only 2-3 mins to hunt and find...so many memories attached to that black confused puppy who was not so confused and had developed a brownish color later on.
There was this one incident when there was my parents party at my house. My uncle kept his beer glass on the floor and carried on his conversation about godknowswhat. Rusty casually walked up to his glass, took a few licks and walked away and was found an hour later fast asleep in his basket. That night he had the longest and probably the most peaceful sleep of his life.

There was this other time when his trainer tried to get him mated in the nearby park. After the third attempt he said to my mum, "Mujhe lagta hai ki Rusty ko ladke pasand hai". Ahh...my poor gay dog.

One thing about him - He peed like a bitch.